Message intended not being the message received time and again? They may act this way because they simply have a conflict avoidant personality, or they may have also been. Start with small interactions, like saying hi to a classmate or making small talk with a cashier. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Conflict can be anxiety-inducing for many people. Green, M. A., & Curtis, G. C. (1988). | Research on treatment for social anxiety and avoidant personality even found that treatment outcomes between those with both conditions and those with only social anxiety were relatively the same. The social costs of emotional suppression: A prospective study of the transition to college. The avoidant personality seems to desire affection and acceptance, but doesn't know how to fully experience or obtain it. Imagine this scenario: Youve been working hard on a presentation for several weeks, spending extra hours trying to get everything just right. You could express that you miss your partner and that it would mean a lot to you to begin spending more time together. During a conflict, you can remind yourself to breathe deeply. You may talk to others for more help or consider therapy. Avoidance can be frustrating to others; habitually using avoidance strategies can create conflict in relationships and minimize social support. (2018). Avoid being accusatory or defensive when approaching the co-worker who took all the credit for your work. Conflict avoidance is a type of people-pleasing behavior that typically arises from a deep rooted fear of upsetting others. When this open dialogue doesnt occur, relationship satisfaction tends to decrease. Confronting this type of person seems to start an endless drama with no productive resolution. Spinelli highly recommends therapy for people who tend to avoid conflict because it can help you understand why you avoid conflict and practice conflict-management techniques. People may do this as a way to preserve harmony in the relationship. Disagreeing with someone doesnt necessarily mean fighting. Keep in mind that its not about blaming the other person or proving whos right and wrong in a given situation. Moreover, when an individual has been hurt in relationships when they felt a problem, they may start to act like there are no problems. Psychodynamic therapy, which involves exploring unconscious factors behind feelings of inferiority, can help people resolve past conflicts that may be causing current issues. This can be in the form of individual or couples counseling, either of which may help you learn all you need to know about communicating with your partner. Instead, they will attempt to act like everything is okay all the time because they want to please the other person. Avoidant personality disorder is grouped with other personality disorders marked by feelings of nervousness and fear. Erin Leonard, Ph.D. is a practicing psychotherapist and the author of three books about relationships and parenting.